The 8 Worst Things You Can Say at a Wedding
Weddings are meant to be the best day of the bride and groom's life. So, no pressure if you're making a wedding speech anytime soon.
Just in case we've now made you terrified and you want some tips, we've taken some life lesson from the guests who got it very, very wrong, as told by the people of Reddit.
- Get your facts straight.
"mother of the groom called the wife 'Elizabeth' in her speech. Elizabeth wasn't her name. Elizabeth was the name of the groom's best friend who happened to be an attractive woman. more attractive than the wife. Elizabeth is who the mother wanted her son to marry. Elizabeth was there, too."
- Double check where you are before picking up the mic.
"I wasn't there to see it, but a buddy of mine told me about a bad one he witnessed his cousin give. Basically, best man got all flustered/froze up, didn't know what to say, etc., and he ended up congratulating my friend (who was not the groom, mind you) on being accepted into the University of Michigan.
- Spare the resentment for a more private conversation.
"I was part of the catering crew at a wedding. The ceremony was on the beach and the reception was in the resort. When the bride and groom came in the entire wait staff kind of dropped their jaws because these kids couldn’t have been more than like 18-20 years old. Everyone was super young. When the father of the bride made his speech he went on and on about how his daughter always gets what she wants. She had this wedding at the beach and they were going to have a second wedding back home in Texas. Then he goes on to describe every extracurricular activity she ever did and quit. “Cheerleader for 6 months, then she took up dancing for a few weeks. She got really into sewing for a while but quit when she joined Girl Scouts, which she left to chase her dream of being a dog walker...”
"Basically his whole speech was calling her a spoiled brat who doesn’t stick with anything. So the groom probably felt awesome about that."
- There's a time and a place.
"Maid of honor giving her speech. "We have so many great memories together. One of my favorite was when you taught me about the jets in the hot tub."
...obviously implying masturbation. In front of a room of three hundred people. Dead silence."
- Learn to let go. Please.
"Was at a friends wedding, one of my friends stands up to make a speech and it was pretty good until the last sentence when he said "who knows this could've been my wedding if I didn't mess things up with her" everyone was silent."
- In particular, think about that best man speech carefully.
"The only thing the best man said was “Well, we’re all here today for one reason, a good woman died. May she Rest In Peace.” About the grooms late (first) wife, who passed away over 10 years ago."
- Really carefully.
"The best man getting drunk and asking his current wife for a divorce into the microphone because “she just wont fucking leave me unless i make a big deal of it”"
- We mean it.
"Best man waddles up to podium, visibly too drunk. He opens up his folder with his speech in it. Opens his mouth to say his first words and projectile vomits directly over the podium. He says into the mic, "Whoops that's not what I meant to say." Groomsmen drag him off and away."