The singer Kelis has accused her former husband, the rapper Nas, of domestic violence during their five-year marriage.
During an interview with Hollywood Unlocked, Kelis revealed the extent of the abuse which caused the separation.
She said:
"It was dark. It was really dark.
"There was a lot of drinking. There was a lot of physical and mental abuse.
"And it just got to the point where... God is so good, because being pregnant - I probably would have stayed longer had I not been pregnant.
"Because I really did love him and we were married. This was my person."
Nas is yet to comment on the accusations but it hasn't stopped people clambering to "hear both sides".
That is something that author and educator Erica Buddington has heard since Kelis told her story.
In an attempt to address the problems women face during an abusive relationship and why some decide to stay silent, Erica shared a similar story about a young woman she knew at college.
She tweeted:
"I’ve received three texts, six tweets, and seen several social media messages from men that are saying, “I need to hear both sides,” about the #Nas and Kelis situation. I usually don’t comment because I have my triggers but it’s time. I’ve got a story to tell.
"When I was in college a young woman I had class with but barely spoke to approached me in the library while I was studying. She said, “Hi.” I said, “Hi.” & then she just stared at me. My empath was on strong...I immediately felt something was wrong. I asked, “Can I help you?”
"Her stuttering evolved into tears. She said she couldn’t go back to her apartment because she lived with her boyfriend and he was abusing her. She said, “You look like someone that can help. I watch you. You care about people and you aren’t judgemental.”
"She was right. Offered her my extra bedroom and I immediately tapped into my resources, calling mentors and my professors. My plan was to get her out and keep her safe. We decided that she wouldn’t go to class that week. Her boyfriend called every minute, he left crazy messages.
"He called her friends, family, her job, and even tried find my iPhone because on our way to the supermarket one morning the alert went off. Good thing we were in the middle of the highway. We shut it off ASAP. He was relentless. About 4 days later, my leasing office calls...
"They said a man had been banging on the door of my old apartment. I changed to a 2 bedroom that summer because I wanted office space. The new residents told him I wasn’t there and he pushed past them and searched the whole space. He ran before police arrived.
"He ran before police arrived but the police discovered that he’d found my old address because he had a friend that worked at the Western Union nearby. My parents used to send me money there. He found my address by stopping by his friends job and using the system.
"& how did he find me? He saw us in the library together that day. He’s been following her on campus. Finally I told her that she needed to call the police and let them know what was going on. When we did....they asked her for ID, told us to sit tight, and went back to the car.
"She was told there was a warrant out for her arrest for several traffic violations she had on her car from that past weekend. We were in shock. She hadn’t had her car since she’d been staying with me. The cop then showed us a picture of her running into a sign and reversing.
"The thing was--it wasn’t her. It was a girl that resembled her in sunglasses and a hoodie. We told them this and they didn’t believe us. They took her in anyway. I called the precinct and her parents and tried to help her but by the time we got there....
"She’s already been bailed out. By who? Her boyfriend. How did she know she was arrested? He has another friend on the force and someone who committed the violations in her car the weekend before. It was intentional and methodical. He let her know all of this too.
"She was terrified. It was next level and she felt like anywhere she went he was watching. When she came to class again, she wouldn’t even look my way. I tried to talk to her and she literally ran. Someone slipped me a note, a few weeks later....
"It was from her. She thanked me and told me not to intervene anymore because she wanted me to live. DO YOU HEAR ME? She was scared for my life. We graduated 2 months later and I never saw her again.
"6 years later...I catch up with a mutual friend. I ask her, “Whatever happened to ____________.” She said, “She married him.” I was livid. I flipped out. I asked again, “Why would she--“ Before I could finish, the mutual friend cut me off and said...
“He’s military. He’s got a gun in the house. They have two kids. He got her a job at his best friend’s firm...she never graduated...he didn’t allow her to. His name is on the house, the car, her accounts--everything. She’s not going to leave.”
"Intentional. Surrounded by people that praised him, that saw him as a good family man that loved her, supported her, helped her in her career. Perspective is everything. I saw the bruises all over her arms and legs. I saw the slash on her neck.
"Whenever she spoke about him she had a tremble in her voice and she would follow up every allegation with, “Don’t see me as weak. Please.” Kelis had that same tremble in her voice and she kept saying, “I’m not weak.”
"But if you ask our classmates about it they’ll be shocked. They’ll say, “Whoa really?! Nahhhh, not him. I need to hear both sides.” Sound familiar?
"For those of you asking, “Why now?” Have you ever considered her fear? Do you know the trauma of abuse and captivity and how long it holds you? Do you understand the undoing?
"Do you know what it’s like when the allies of your abuser have him on a pedestal?
Erica ended her thread by calling her followers to "support organizations that are doing the work of eradicating domestic violence."
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