Contrary to popular belief, the worst part about Christmas dinner isn't having to talk to your in-laws or eat that dry Turkey.
No, it's the truly awful and quite frankly embarrassing jokes that you have to read out after pulling a cracker at the table, only for your relatives to groan with contempt as if it was your fault.
On one hand, there is no reason that jokes should ever be that bad and, on the other, crackers are a waste of money and resources, so think twice before you buy any.
It really shouldn't be down to you to bring some cheer and gags to the table, but if the cracker manufacturers are going to continue to let you then we suppose it's up to us to sort it out.
So without further ado, here are 17 jokes that are definitely better than the ones you'll find in any cracker... actually, who are we kidding. They are all awful!
1. What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
2. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky!
3. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low 'elf' esteem!
4. Why are Santa's deers always wet?
Because they're reindeers!
5. What do elfs learn in school?
The elf-abet.
6. Why did Frosty's fiancée leave him?
He got the wrong kind of ice on the ring.
7. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
8. What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.
9. Why is Christmas just like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
10. What did Frosty's girlfriend give him when she was mad at him?
The cold shoulder.
11. Who brings presents to all the good little crabs and lobsters at the beach?
Sandy Claws.
12. Where do snowmen keep their money?
In a snowbank.
13. What says 'oh oh oh'?
Santa walking backwards.
14. What is Santa's favourite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!
15. Who is Santa's favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
16. What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less!
17. What do you give a dog for Christmas?
A mobile bone.
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