Grace Massoud wrote this article in MTV website:
In the spirit of mastering the game of love, and avoiding the red flags we so often ignore, we should be aware of the three following major factors.
Our number one job is to protect ourselves. In a boxing ring, the referee always looks at both boxers and says: protect yourself at all times. At any point in the game, if he deems one of the players incapable of holding up his arms to protect himself and sees him just taking a beating, he stops the fight right then and there. In love, there is no referee to protect our wellbeing, we have to be the referee and the fighter. If we get to a stage where we’re just taking an emotional beating, we need to cease the fight and get out of that darned ring.
Number two: always read the fine print. Now normally, we watch people’s actions not their words to figure out their intentions towards us, unless what they have to say is uncomfortable for them to say and might ruin their sales pitch. I work in sales too here at MTV, and I can tell you from experience that to close that sale, you want to say all the right things, paint the prettiest, most alluring picture. In the middle of doing all the right things, taking you on your dream date scenario, a fancy restaurant for instance and drinks in the hottest club in town after, acting like Mr. Right catering to your every need, and then boom! He casually drops in that he’s not ready for a serious commitment. This sort of uncomfortable thing to say needs to be given more weight than their actions since it could ruin the whole thing for them and still, they said it. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance to them and not to be taken lightly. Don’t fall for the pretty packaging and run!
Number three: Change is nearly impossible and the riskiest bet we can make. Ponder for a moment here how hard it is to change oneself and you’ll see what kind of beast we’re dealing with when attempting to change others. The most dangerous bet in a relationship is the “One Day” wager: Trading in your time, energy, emotions and intimacy in the hopes that the person you’re giving them to will one day become what you want them to be.
The stereotypical situation that occurs, and the most dangerous fantasy we indulge in, is where a woman wants something the guy is not willing to give and finds herself investing her time and energy into changing him.
Both parties should meet each other’s deepest needs, standards and desires in a perfect relationship. This is the type of partnership we should be aiming for. A game where the stakes are so much lower, and the payoff? Better than your wildest dreams and fantasies.