On National Hugging Day, hugs are everywhere. They appear in captions, campaigns, and cheerful reminders to squeeze a little longer, as if comfort could be measured in seconds. The hug is often presented as a universal language, simple and harmless, an emotional shortcut we all supposedly understand the same way.

Psychology, however, tells a more nuanced story.

For clinical psychologist Tatiana Maalouf, hugging is neither a trend nor a sentimental extra. Speaking to MTV’s English website, she explains that hugs can be a powerful biological and emotional resource, but only for some people, and only in certain contexts.

From the moment we are born, regulation does not begin within us but between us, Maalouf explains. Long before language, the nervous system learns safety through proximity, rhythm, and presence. For many, physical touch, including hugging, becomes one of the earliest ways the body recognizes safety. When a hug is wanted and experienced as secure, it bypasses language and speaks directly to the nervous system.

Neurobiologically, hugging can trigger the release of oxytocin, the hormone linked to bonding and emotional regulation, while reducing cortisol, the body’s main stress hormone, according to Maalouf. This shift allows the body to step out of survival mode. Breathing slows, muscles relax, and the nervous system receives a quiet reassurance that it is not alone. “Hugs don’t fix the problem,” she notes, “but they can help the body feel safe enough to cope with it.”

But this experience is not universal.

Not all nervous systems experience touch as calming. For some people, Maalouf explains, because of trauma, personal history, sensory sensitivity, cultural norms, or neurodivergence, physical contact can feel intrusive or even threatening. In those cases, a hug does not regulate the body. It activates it. What is intended as comfort may instead trigger distress.

This is why consent and emotional attunement are essential. A helpful hug, Maalouf says, is mutual, responsive, and respectful of boundaries. Without that, touch loses its regulating power.

Emotionally, hugs work through co regulation, but co regulation is not limited to physical contact. Safety can also be created through eye contact, tone of voice, shared silence, or simply being emotionally present. The key ingredient, she stresses, is not the hug itself, but the felt sense of being with someone.

In today’s fast paced and highly digital world, physical affection has decreased for many, while emotional overload has increased. Screens allow connection, but they cannot replace embodied presence. At the same time, Maalouf cautions against pushing physical closeness in the name of connection. True closeness respects differences in how people experience comfort and safety.

Hugs can be especially meaningful during periods of grief, stress, or uncertainty, but only for those who experience touch as safe, she says. For others, support may take quieter forms such as sitting nearby, holding space, or listening without trying to fix.

As for how long a hug should last or how often people should hug, the answer lies not in numbers. Research suggests longer hugs may enhance oxytocin release, but no duration makes an unwanted hug beneficial. Regulation comes from choice, not exposure.

From a mental health perspective, National Hugging Day is not about hugging more. It is an invitation to reflect on how we seek comfort, how we respect boundaries, and how we offer care in ways that truly feel safe.

Hugs do not heal everyone.
But being seen, respected, and emotionally held, in whatever form that takes, remains essential for all of us.