Grace Massoud wrote this article in MTV Website:

Be kind. To yourself before anyone else. The admission that we all mess up, that it’s part of our human condition, is a vital step to take towards becoming kinder to ourselves.

When we’re harsh on ourselves, self-critical, we’re raising our cortisol levels, blood pressure, and affecting negatively our physical health. We wrongfully assume that beating ourselves up will help us do better while it does the exact opposite. Research proves that kindness to ourselves is the nudge we need to improve. Scholars define self-compassion as the self-talk we can use to learn from our mistakes and perform better. As it happens, we all go through those days when we need to be our own coach, our own biggest fan. Here are the three necessary ingredients to showing ourselves some tender loving care.

First off, put some mindfulness in a greased pan, on medium heat. Let’s be aware of what’s going on inside of us, the feelings of pain, discomfort, or distress. Pause and ask ourselves: “How am I feeling? What do I need right now?”. We need to admit we’re going through something.

The second step is to throw in some common humanity in the mix. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, goes through something at one point or another. Our normal and universal pain or discomfort is a part of life, it’s unavoidable. Living in that realization takes the edge off everything, it’s an effective painkiller. We’re all in this together, doing the best we can under pressure, there’s no point in fleeing into isolation.

Finally, spice the dish up real nice with active self-kindness. We give ourselves a big ole hug, high-five ourselves in the mirror, put our hand on our heart. This sparks warmth and friendliness towards ourselves. Always imagine what you would say to a dear friend or what he would say to you, and direct those words unto yourself.

Et voilà! You got yourself the recipe for success. Practicing self-compassion will help you perform better, eat healthier, face up to your mistakes more often, and be more motivated to repair the harm you’ve done. An added and powerful benefit is that self-compassion seems to be contagious. Seeing and hearing someone practicing this act of love encourages you to do the same with yourself. Imagine the loads of benefits this would do to kids, who tend to absorb and emulate in spades, if they were armed with this superpower at a young age. For kindness to oneself is a superpower. 

Show yourself the same type of kindness and care you give a good friend, the same type of love you crave from others. BE the love of your life.